Year in Review

The last month has been just a whirlwind of excitement & happiness. The first (and most surprising) thing that happened is that I changed my mind about what kind of ICU nurse I wanted to be, literally, with two days to spare. I am now so proud to say that I am an RN on the Burn Trauma ICU. Burn??!!?? What?? Isn't that the unit that I was deathly afraid of the entire internship, YES. But I am so, so, so glad that I forced myself to keep an open mind. That allowed me to believe that I could not only fit in on Burn, but be a valued member of an amazing team. I have since started my orientation shifts and will be flying solo by the end of January. I absolutely love working there!! And finally, I feel like I am home again. (Big Ups to my 2 East Peeps!!)

The second little piece of wonderment is that Adam & I got to celebrate Thanksgiving & Christmas together. I don't regret the six years that my cute little Christmas tree graced our former home. But let me tell you, the smile on my face was huge knowing that this year I have my independence back and if that means putting up my tacky, star Christmas lights in the window, then twinkle away!

The third, and most precious, is the addition of Miss Winnifred Jane to our family. I'm so proud of my sister & bro-in-law. My little Winni & I are going to have SO MUCH FUN!!

Not only has the last month been crazy busy, but it seems like 2011 was one of the most busy roller coaster years I have ever had. Name an emotion, good & bad, and I have felt it this year...and I embrace them all. So as I look back on this year, I'll say I (re)learned how to stand up for myself, I proved (again) that I can do whatever I set my mind to and I was reminded how precious every day is. I'm eternally grateful to my family and friends who not only saw me through this year, but (literally), held me up when I when my steps were so tired. I could not get through my crazy life without you all.

For those of you who know me the best, you know that the Spring is my Jam!! Spring Equinox, 311 Day, Emipalooza...I have a feeling, nay I will say a knowledge, that 2012 is going to start off will so much love, happiness, laughter and sheer giddiness that I may just throw up right now thinking about it!!! 

Peace, Love, Unity & Respect are my wishes for you this New Year!!

The fish who keeps on swimming....

Wow!!! How fast does six months go by?!?! It just seems like yesterday that I was writing about my first day as a nurse, in the ER, and how excited/nervous/giddy I was. Now here I am, 5 shifts away from finishing  my internship. I have met and had the honor of working with some of the most amazing nurses!! I'm not saying this because I literally bleed Red (Utah girl reference) but the nurses who practice at University of Utah Hospital are of a different breed. I'm thinking it has something to do with the higher altitude we live at or maybe being a Westerner makes us tougher, more resilient, wicked smart and quite cute. I hope I never lose the feeling of pride that I have walking through those front doors and knowing that I am one of them.
One of the best aspects of this internship is that I had the opportunity to take care of some very interesting patients and see some of the most intense sights ever.  Let's see: skid marks on someone skull, amputated toe (from electrocution), scalp free flap, holding someone's (mechanical) heart in my hands, controlling someone's (mechanical) kidneys, a femoral artery pulsing inside the cavity of a disarticulated hip (a amputation is when they leave a piece of the bone, a disarticulation in when the take the whole thing out at the joint).
But the most precious thing that I have experienced from this internship is that sometimes the most amazing thing is the simplest: having a patient smile back at me, knowing that my hand holding theirs is keeping them safe, having a wife, husband, mother, father thank me for taking care of their loved one.
I'll know in about a week which amazing ICU I get to work in for the next two years. Stay tuned friends  :)

Serendipity

So I seriously don't know how this happens...I say I'm going to more diligent about posting and I did really well....and then....life happens :)
Beautiful, serendipitous, lucky life that I have. So I'll give some quick updates.

CCI - I LOVE being a nurse and I am having such a ridiculously good time in the Critical Care Internship.
Since my last post, I finished the Surgical ICU (which I loved!!!) Give me a surgical wound any day and I'm a happy girl. I also went through my rotation on Neuro Critical Care unit...one word: Bbbbbrrrrraaaiiiinnnssssss!!! (Say this is your best zombie voice please). Don't get me wrong, NCC was cool but brains are squishy! I just started last week in the Medical ICU, which will be interesting for me. Patients are really, really sick to be on MICU. But I do have some friends that work there so I don't feel soooo out of place. The internship will be finished in December, the last rotation will be through Burn Trauma ICU, which I am literally scared to death of. I have learned so much about myself and I feel like I'm gaining the most amazing experiences. I still don't know which one will be my first choice, but I'm working really hard to have ALL the managers want to hire me, then I can get my pick. (Still the overachiever.) Stay tuned on the CCI front.

The Boy - he's still a teenager for all his 18 years. Lovable, messy, at times irresponsible, teenager. This is the part about being a parent that is new and uncharted for me: how to let your children make grown-up life decisions without interfering or giving too much of my own opinion. It gives me serious anxiety. That is all I can say about that right now.

Ramblings about Salt Lake City - I did finally make it all the way up City Creek Canyon (12 miles roundtrip) which is quite the accomplishment for me. And yes, I know I should have gone with someone, hiking by yourself can be dangerous....but I really needed to do it by myself, for myself. The leaves are all turning in my beloved city, which makes it even more lovable. This fall has been so lovely, but I will not lie and say I am looking forward to winter, but I am literally counting down the days until Spring :)

Just one of the numerous creatures I saw this summer in City Creek

Serendipity is when someone finds something that they weren't expecting to find. In the last year, I have found things that I didn't know I wanted or was not expecting in the least. Serendipity usually refers to happy things. Unfortunately all my discoveries have not been happy. But what has been the most serendipitous thing to happen to me is that I when I started being true to myself, I rediscovered my true source of happiness - myself. I told someone recently that if more of us just got out of our own way and let the universe bring us what we needed, we would all be so much happier. The smile on my face is enormous these days.

The boy at 18

Yesterday, the boy turned 18. I was a little sad. I remember when he was a baby, entranced by watching basketball on TV (thank goodness for SportsCenter). I remember his first day of Kindergarten. I remember the first time he hit a three pointer in a game. I remember the first time we went to the ER for a sports injury. I remember the first time he told me he liked a girl. I remember when he told me he would always take care of me. Now, I will be able to remember his 18th birthday and how much fun we had as son and momma. I can only hope that he will still want to tell me about his days, want and seek my opinion and be my friend as well as my son. He always has been and always will be my most awesome accomplishment.

The boy, Senior Year...and some other thoughts.

This last week I took the boy to get all registered in preparation for starting his Senior Year of high school. Walking through those impressive front doors of the most bad-ass high school in the state, West High (yes, I am a Panther as well, class of 93, woot-woot), I was having a lot of mixed emotions. First: Disbelief. I truly can't believe that he is a senior and that he will soon be 18 years old. I'm so excited for what this year holds for him, because I remember having that same feeling as I started my senior year of high school. Now for those of you who don't want to do the math, yes it was during my senior year that my life forever changed and I found myself pregnant with this little miracle in my belly. So, my second emotion that gripped me was fear & apprehension at all once. I can only hope that I have taught him the importance of responsibility and why I want his story to be so different from mine. Once I reminded myself of that, the last emotion that calmed me down was that of happy anticipation. The memories and stories he'll build for himself this year will be ones that I hope he will carry with him forever. And I'm so excited that I'll be in the position to do everything I can to make those stories great.

I also had the supreme opportunity this week to see "my boys" 311 in concert once again. That will make 17 shows for me. I know a lot of people don't get it, but simply put, it makes me happy. So rather that trying to explain, I'll let the expressions on my face do the talking.

"Be Positive and Love Your Life!" 

Umm, August how did you get here already??!?!

I seriously believe that the older I get, the faster time goes by. And not just years and decades, because they do! I'm still claiming that it is some weird space-time continuum mix-up that The Boy will be 18 in September. Lately, I've just been amazed at how quickly a month, a week or a day can go by. It only seems like a few days ago that I was still in school, worrying about exams or doing yet another completely useful care plan. But now look, here it is the first day of August and I'm worrying about my patients last lab results and I'm filling out yet another completely useful Plan of Care. (Fellow U nurses feel free to laugh here). I think it must be my Aries nature to be so excited for the next thing in my life, that I forget to fully process the events before the next one comes along. It is only when some guidepost comes along, like the last "summer" month, to realize how much time has really passed. This summer really has been spectacular so far. For all the reasons and events that I've talked about here, but for so many other ones little ones that I should not let pass without recognition.
So here is my summer memory list so far, in ode to my friend Jarah and her many lists.

Nurse party IV's

Hammocks in the dark

Napping while floating in a lake

Homemade chili cheese fries

A/C with a remote control

Blue lights at the Larkspur Lounge

City Creek at dusk

Impromptu dance parties

"Alan, Alan, hey Alan, oh my, that's Steve"

Kenny Powers

Live music on a summer breeze

Breakfast for Dinner

Fireworks in the rain

Feeling freedom at 40 mph on a bad ass scooter

Now if you know me at all, you know that I will squeeze every drop of satisfaction that I can get out of summer, so I think this list is only half way done.

CCI update: Finished my shifts in the Emergency Dept and I loved it!!! I was really surprised that I liked it so much, I guess I just really had a different idea of what it would be like. So the rest of this rotation includes Huntsman Special Care which is also awesome. I did my Med-Surg rotation on this floor and the staff that work there are special angel nurses. The Oncology ICU is slated to open in October (I think) and will be a really amazing place to work and grow as a nurse. Here is my one fear: I'm going to love everywhere that I go. Maybe I should count that as a positive.

First day as a nurse....in the ER!

  ER pic

Ok, so I have to admit my long standing love affair with the tv show "ER." I think I possibly watched every episode. I loved the characters and the amazing and crazy stories they came up with. Even as the cast changed (I will always hold a place in my heart for Dr. Doug Ross & Nurse Carol Hathaway) I always tuned in to see what would happen next.
So you can imagine what theme music was playing in my head as I worked my first shift as a nurse and I was in the ED!! The Critical Care Internship includes a rotation in the ED and mine just happened to be my first rotation. Now, the U of U ED is a wholly different place than a fictional tv ER, but it was crazy just the same. EMS & LifeFlight crews were continually bringing patients into the trauma bays and it was like a finely choreographed ballet watching everyone work together. I just tried to keep my eyes and ears open, ask questions of my awesome fellow, Farrah, and by the end of the shift, I was caring for one patient on my own. Very exhilarating!! Back tonight for more fun.
Speaking of the internship, the first week consisted of ALOT of orientation (which means sitting and listening all day). But I did enjoy meeting the rest of my cohort and there are some really interesting people who moved from all over to be here. Georgetown, Dartmouth, Connecticut, Ogden :) and then little ol' Emily, Utah girl. I know this is going to be a great experience getting to know them as well as the fellows who will be training us.
Stay tuned!